"Perfectly Imperfect"...

Marriage-"My Perma-Date"

2010-08-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

Why is it that we put so much emphasis on the wedding and so little on the marriage? I spent the last six months anxious, excited, and ready for the day we would be married. But now that we are, it can get a little hum-drum! So, I told my sweet hubby that we needed to start "date nights"! Every week we set aside a certain night to do something fun and special with each other. He thinks I get all my ideas from watching Dr. Phil and that I am constantly safe guarding our marriage, but what is wrong with that? I am! I don't think people's marriages fall apart over night. I think there are many little things that become more important that build up over time and cause you to grow apart. So, I figure if I am constantly reminding him in little ways how lucky he is to be married to me, he will eventually believe it-lol! I want to be the couple when they are ninety that still makes the other "light up"! So, to my ever-wonderful girlfriends who ask me to do things and I decline, please know that I am ensuring that we are not a statistic and still dating my hubby!:-)

Engagement

2010-01-08T17:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, so most of you know that John and I have been talking about getting married since about month two of dating. So to his mother and granny who already introduce me as part of the family, it was just the finishing touch. Since so many of you have asked, I thought I would share the proposal moment.

If you don't already know, John and I went to high school together and had the same circle of friends. We both got married young and divorced. Then last year this time, we reconnected on Facebook. It first began as a mere "how are you?", "what have you been up to for the last eighteen years" etc. I invited him to a few group outings, but we didn't actually talk on the phone until April. He asked me if I would want to go to a Braves game with him the following week. And being the huge Braves fan I am, said yes! I didn't consider it a date, but I guess that's what it became and we have been together ever since.

Several months later, after much talk about our life dreams and disappointments, we began talking about our future together. So I thought the proposal would surely happen around my birthday or the Christmas holidays. Those came and went, so I just thought he wasn't ready, when actually he just wanted me to be surprised. I made a romantic dinner on New Year's Eve and ended up falling asleep on the couch before midnight. The next day we planned on having lunch with his granny-the traditional greens and black eyed peas. I was ready to go and waiting for him by the frontdoor when he said he forgot something in the bedroom. After several moments he yelled for me to come in there. As I got to the door, he was down on one knee with a very shaky hand out in front of him. He only managed to get the words, "babe, you know I want to spend my life with you..." before I was crying, he was crying, and I said, "you are doing this now?" I guess it really doesn't matter where or when it's done. I was thankful he didn't wait for another Braves game and put me on that jumbotron! Lol!

Blah Days!!!

2009-10-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

Why is it that we women seem to have more "blah" days than our male counterparts? At least once or twice a month, either myself or one of my closest friends has what I call a blah-day! You know the kind where you wake up and nothing goes right, from the time you put your foot on the floor out of the bed. I always tell my best friend that I am just in a funk and don't know how to get out...bear with me! Mind you, I am generally an upbeat person! But when I get in one of my "funks", it can be hard to shake! She was having one of those yesterday. She text messaged me saying, " I just need girl time!" I know that is code for, "I don't know why, just let me vent, come quickly!" And usually after a little girlfriend reinforcement(possibly over a margarita), we are ok again. So today is my shout out to my sweet girlfriends(you know who you are), who have let me cry on their shoulder over some loser guy, who ate whatever junkfood I was craving with me, and who cried with me over some silly movie all because I was having a "blah" day! I couldn't live without you!!!

UPDATE- Dad's Treatment

2009-09-02T04:47:00.000-07:00

For those of you inquiring as to the status of my dad's treatment, I decided I would just add it to my blog each time I have updates. Yesterday was day one of a six-eight week period for the stem cell harvest and transplant. For those of you that don't know, he has type IGG multiple myeloma(aka-bone marrow cancer). He is scheduled for the actual transplant on Oct.1. We mainly received all his paperwork(which is enormous!), his schedule of what he will be doing each day(as he will be coming in every day during this period), and his medication list/instructions(which is also huge!). I will be his caregiver on Mon.-Tues, his best friend Dave Audia(as many of you know lost his sweet wife a few yrs. ago to cancer)will do Wed and/or Thurs, and my mom will do weekends. This allows my mom to still work some(which is good financially and mentally)and I can go to a Wed.-Sat. work schedule. This has truly been a blessing in itself that we are still able to work and help with his care!

During this period he is considered an isolation patient. Although he will be going back and forth to Northside Hospital each day, he must wear a mask, we have to sanitize everything, watch what he eats, and cannot be left alone etc. all to prevent infection. The most critical period is days 1-12 after the transplant itself. We got a little bit of unexpected news yesterday that threw us all for a loop. We have always been told by his oncologist that his stage of cancer was caught very early(through a routine blood test for his diabetes). Although we knew that multiple myeloma is an extremely aggressive type of cancer, we were always under the impression that his was merely spotted on one arm bone and not in his bone marrow. We were informed that is not the case. It was in 100% of his bone marrow and is now down to 40% after the preliminary chemo. drugs(one of which did not work). I don't think it dampered my dad's spirits too much. I think we were all hoping that he would go through this and never have to worry about it again-optimistic I know! Now he has a 50% chance that he could have to undergo a second transplant in the future.

The doctor of course reminded us that a positive attitude makes all the difference in the world with any cancer and to stay optimistic that he will respond well to the first transplant and not have to do a second. So, I ask that you pray specifically for that-for dad to remain positive in beating this and that he will be in a full remission following the first transplant. I cannot say thank you enough to everyone for the thoughts and prayers so far...please keep them coming! I try to look at this time as positively as I can...at least I get to spend quality time each week with him!
Love you all~HUGS~Shannon

Love Is...

2009-08-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

I decided to write today on my definition of love. I assure you, I have definately learned a thing or two on what it truly means to love someone. I think when you have loved, are in love, or are looking forward to love, your definition might be a little different at each time. I know that having loved and lost through a divorce, has made me realize the ways I fell short on truly loving my partner. Then there was the anticipation of falling in love again, and all the things I would do differently. And now, learning how to love someone all over again...

A good friend of mine made me really contemplate how I view unconditional love. When you really love someone, there really is no rhyme or reason. It isn't in the things you have in common, the way they make you feel, or the positive traits they posess. All of those things would be conditional. So really, it is an unexplainable reason that we fall in love-we just do!

As I see it, when you love someone you do things you would not normally do, you listen and encourage even if you don't understand or agree, and you apologize sometimes when you don't feel like it's your fault! Maybe we need to all remind ourselves of I Cor. 13:3-5: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. It is not rude, self-seeking, or easily angered, and keeps no record of wrong doing."

Cancer Stinks!!!

2009-08-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have officially decided that everyone, at some point in their life is going to be affected by cancer. Many of you know that my dad is right in the middle of grueling chemo. treatments and about to begin stem cell therapy. He has multiple myeloma(aka-bone marrow cancer). As much as we are very positive in a full recovery, it is a hard process to watch your dad go through. I can honestly say if I could go through it for him, I would! Special thanks to my friend Lisa for introducing my dad to hers. It's always good to talk to someone who has had to go through the same thing, and come out on the other side with flying colors! Their conversation has made a huge difference in his positive mental attitude!

I knew my boyfriend John was truly a gift from God, when on our first date he revealed to me that his father had gone through a similar cancer process. Unfortunately his father passed away a few years ago, but he knew exactly all the emotions that come with hearing a family member has cancer. He has been a huge support and encouragement! Since then, we have learned of yet another family member to be faced with this diagnosis. And about that time, he asked me in the most humble way if I really wanted to spend my life with someone who might not live any longer than his father or grandfather(both in early sixties). I could not believe his question! I quickly responded that we better get started on the next twenty years! I don't think anyone would change who they fall in love with, if it were for one day or a lifetime! God is good...sometimes He blesses us with what we need...sometimes it's with what we want...and if you're lucky, you get both!

Just Say "No"...Again!

2009-08-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well, once again I have done the yo-yo dieting of losing those last 10 lbs. only to gain it back again! So today I begin my recommitment of working out and eating right. If I was only someone who could develop a love for exercise, it would be great! I will say I enjoy the finished product: tight toned muscles, less of my "J-Lo" booty, more energy throughout the day, sleeping better at night, and feeling good in my bikini. You would think those are reasons enough to motivate me, but no...

So, with the probablity of having to get into a wedding dress in the near future, I must begin a new plan of action! Why can't I just be wealthy with personal chefs and trainers to kick my butt into shape? Instead, I will continue to squeeze in my 45 min. a day workouts, eat my birdfood, and tell myself that all those girls on the cover of Cosmo are airbrushed! They are right?

Mommies!!!

2009-07-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

I decided to write today about three of the best mommies I know: my best friend since grade school Suzanne, my co-worker Jennifer, and my cousin Kim. Each one of these women deserve a special shout-out!

First, there is Suzanne. She like myself, got married young, divorced, and then met her prince charming and was ready to start a family. Suzanne and I grew up together and there is probably no one on earth who knows me better than she does. We are much alike in some ways: upbringing, morals/values, love of shopping/decorating, but our personalities are vastly different in some ways as well. But never has it interferred with us growing closer over the years and my deep love for her as a friend! She has had the joy of raising a two and three year old since getting remarried about four years ago. One of them is a literal clone of her and the other of her husband. It's amazing and they are adorable! She has taught me how to be patient! She has no idea the immense respect I have for her and what a terrific mother I think she is!

Second, there is Jennifer. She is the proud(trust me, she is proud...she takes more pictures of her child than anyone I know-lol) mommy of one year old, cutie-patootie Madelyn! I met Jennifer about four and a half years ago at work and would have never dreamed that she would become one of my favorite co-workers and friends! I can remember attending her wedding and thinking I was witnessing Cinderella herself getting married! She made a beautiful bride and has made an even more beautiful mother! I think new moms fail to realize that so much of their beauty is not dependant on losing the baby weight as soon as possible, but rather in the love and joy they posess in the daily job of motherhood. She is beautiful inside and out and has shown me that it is perfectly acceptable to be proud of, brag about, and shower your child with love. The reward is a wonderfully, happy child like Maddy!

And finally is my cousin, Kim. Kim is more like my sister than my cousin. We are only a year apart in age and grew up in Florida together. If you had told me fifteen years ago that she would have children before me and would turn out to be such an amazing mother, I probably wouldn't have believed it! I believe that God allows us to go through things in our life to mold us and shape us into who we are meant to be. Kim had to be a supportive wife early in her marriage and as a new mom, to her husband battling cancer. During this time she grew closer to God and became so much stronger. I cannot imagine the emotions one goes through at that time in your life, but I am thankful to say many years of remission later, it has made her a mother that values every second she has with her family. She has also become one of my spiritual shoulders to lean on. I cannot tell you the ways that I have learned how to be a good parent by her example! She is wise beyond her years and I am so thankful that she is my "sister"!

So, when and if God blesses me with children of my own, I will be more than ready to take on the challenge! I only hope He realizes that the biological clock is ticking...and you girls better be around to throw me a baby shower! LOL!

Sing It Loud & Sing It Proud!

2009-07-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Ok so being the singer that I am, I can appreciate someone who can belt out a good tune or even someone who just thinks they can. Alot of what makes good music is in the words one sings or how much heart and soul they put into singing it. Right?

With that being said, I have the pleasure of working with a great gal named Mari about once a month. I have grown to truly love Mari and her uniqueness and amazing love for the Lord! We come from very different backgrounds, but she has always shown a genuine interest in my upbringing and getting to know me. So, my blog today is about Mari... Last week I was seated at the front desk of our office with her during our lunchbreak, gossiping about work stuff. Suddenly she began to belt out her best version of whatever was playing on the in office radio. I had to look around to make sure there were no patients in the office because it startled me. And as the day went on, I realized she sings every song she knows as if she is Mariah or Beyonce herself. I got so tickled, because after awhile our other co-worker Latresha screams from the back,"Mari, please!". About that time, Mari looks at me and just as serious as can be says, "They're just jealous!" I have never laughed so hard! I was totally having one of those days that needed a good laugh! But that sort of put it all in perspective that day. Mari didn't care what anyone thought. Which is something I have struggled with my whole life! She was going to sing at the top of her voice with enthusiasm and no matter what anyone else had to say, she took pride in it and didn't care if anyone had any criticism. I wish I could be more like Mari...time to take pride in my work-even if I am not doing what I might want to be doing, time to appreciate what I do have, rather than focusing on what I don't etc. etc. Moral of the story-take pride in who you are, what you do, and what you have despite present circumstance. Life Is Good-Laugh Often! :-)

The Virtuous Woman (aka-my grandmama)

2009-07-15T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my grandmother's 86th birthday and I began to imagine what I would have to show for my life after eighty six years! I know that I will not even come close to the legacy she has. I think it is much more fitting to celebrate a life such as this now, rather than when our lives here on earth are over. So I thought, what better person to blog about than the most virtuous woman I know!

It's pretty clear in Prov.31 the traits that God uses to describe a "virtuous woman", but it's verse 30 that I like best: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised". Yet to me, the fact that my grandmother is one of the most God-fearing women I know, truly makes her one of the most beautiful! She is the one I go to when I need spiritual wisdom, advice, or sometimes just when I am spiritually heart-broken! You know, when you just want to scream, "Why God?" Somehow she manages to put everything into perspective for me. I think God gave me about the best example of what a true woman of God is, through her. She has shown me how to love unconditionally, to be strong in moral character, how to be a loyal friend, a wonderful mother/grandmother/wife, and how to trust your God-given instincts. But above all, she gave me my mom who is definately a chip off the ole' block...between these two, I have big shoes that I could never fill!

So, Happy Birthday GG! I am so blessed to have you as a grandmother, role model, and friend!

Oops! I Did It Again...

2009-07-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so last week I had one of those "I wish I had hadn't gone there" moments! You know the kind where if you had just left it alone and let it go, you would have been fine? Oh but no! Curiosity killed the cat, and my nosey self just had to look...(I know get on with it Shannon!)

So, last week I had the pleasure of finding out that my ex-husband was featured in a magazine with his new wife! What? Why? They are not Atlanta socialites or celebrities. Why would they be in a magazine? So with this mecca-of-information tool we have, called the internet I googled away! And there in all it's pride and glory was not one, small picture and article, but rather the entire wedding portfolio! A little more than I bargained for! I have to admit, he had a beautiful wedding and new bride, but seriously why would I want to see all that! I wish I could be like these Hollywood couples like Valerie Bertanelli, who attend their ex's wedding and say such sweet compliments about it, but unfortunately there's just a little realism missing in that! (of course in her case, she is probably glad someone else will deal with Eddie's drama-lol)

But in my case, I was left with the same feeling the day we signed the papers and the day he told me he was getting remarried. This empty, regretful, guilty, failure feeling! So I did what I do alot more of since my divorce-PRAYED! And then I spoke to my boyfriend about it. And in the sweet, gentle way that John does things, he listened...not ready to get jealous or angry like someone else I have dated in my past, but in the way that someone who loves you and allows you to work through things on your own way...and simply responded by saying it was natural and ok to feel that way! He gave me a hug and it was never mentioned again!
Funny thing is, God does the same thing! He lets me vent and then says, "its ok" as a feeling of peace about my past helps me go on with my present. (Psalm 34:17)He cares even about my broken heart!

Single Girls Can Blog Too...

2009-07-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have so thoroughly enjoyed some of my "mommy" friend's blogs, that I decided I wanted to jump on the blog bandwagon! Not sure anyone would be interested in a 36 yr. old, divorcee, singer, mommy-wanna-be, who talks to her dog as if he is human...but maybe, just maybe there is someone out there who can relate to my "crazy, random, sometimes tragic, beautiful life".

So this blog is in appreciation/thanks to my blogger inspirations(aka:Dusty Takle, Holly Hixson)and a shout out to my single girlfriends who will give me plenty of material to write about-lol!