Marriage-"My Perma-Date"

Why is it that we put so much emphasis on the wedding and so little on the marriage? I spent the last six months anxious, excited, and ready for the day we would be married. But now that we are, it can get a little hum-drum! So, I told my sweet hubby that we needed to start "date nights"! Every week we set aside a certain night to do something fun and special with each other. He thinks I get all my ideas from watching Dr. Phil and that I am constantly safe guarding our marriage, but what is wrong with that? I am! I don't think people's marriages fall apart over night. I think there are many little things that become more important that build up over time and cause you to grow apart. So, I figure if I am constantly reminding him in little ways how lucky he is to be married to me, he will eventually believe it-lol! I want to be the couple when they are ninety that still makes the other "light up"! So, to my ever-wonderful girlfriends who ask me to do things and I decline, please know that I am ensuring that we are not a statistic and still dating my hubby!:-)

Engagement

Ok, so most of you know that John and I have been talking about getting married since about month two of dating. So to his mother and granny who already introduce me as part of the family, it was just the finishing touch. Since so many of you have asked, I thought I would share the proposal moment.

If you don't already know, John and I went to high school together and had the same circle of friends. We both got married young and divorced. Then last year this time, we reconnected on Facebook. It first began as a mere "how are you?", "what have you been up to for the last eighteen years" etc. I invited him to a few group outings, but we didn't actually talk on the phone until April. He asked me if I would want to go to a Braves game with him the following week. And being the huge Braves fan I am, said yes! I didn't consider it a date, but I guess that's what it became and we have been together ever since.

Several months later, after much talk about our life dreams and disappointments, we began talking about our future together. So I thought the proposal would surely happen around my birthday or the Christmas holidays. Those came and went, so I just thought he wasn't ready, when actually he just wanted me to be surprised. I made a romantic dinner on New Year's Eve and ended up falling asleep on the couch before midnight. The next day we planned on having lunch with his granny-the traditional greens and black eyed peas. I was ready to go and waiting for him by the frontdoor when he said he forgot something in the bedroom. After several moments he yelled for me to come in there. As I got to the door, he was down on one knee with a very shaky hand out in front of him. He only managed to get the words, "babe, you know I want to spend my life with you..." before I was crying, he was crying, and I said, "you are doing this now?" I guess it really doesn't matter where or when it's done. I was thankful he didn't wait for another Braves game and put me on that jumbotron! Lol!

Blah Days!!!

Why is it that we women seem to have more "blah" days than our male counterparts? At least once or twice a month, either myself or one of my closest friends has what I call a blah-day! You know the kind where you wake up and nothing goes right, from the time you put your foot on the floor out of the bed. I always tell my best friend that I am just in a funk and don't know how to get out...bear with me! Mind you, I am generally an upbeat person! But when I get in one of my "funks", it can be hard to shake! She was having one of those yesterday. She text messaged me saying, " I just need girl time!" I know that is code for, "I don't know why, just let me vent, come quickly!" And usually after a little girlfriend reinforcement(possibly over a margarita), we are ok again. So today is my shout out to my sweet girlfriends(you know who you are), who have let me cry on their shoulder over some loser guy, who ate whatever junkfood I was craving with me, and who cried with me over some silly movie all because I was having a "blah" day! I couldn't live without you!!!

UPDATE- Dad's Treatment

For those of you inquiring as to the status of my dad's treatment, I decided I would just add it to my blog each time I have updates. Yesterday was day one of a six-eight week period for the stem cell harvest and transplant. For those of you that don't know, he has type IGG multiple myeloma(aka-bone marrow cancer). He is scheduled for the actual transplant on Oct.1. We mainly received all his paperwork(which is enormous!), his schedule of what he will be doing each day(as he will be coming in every day during this period), and his medication list/instructions(which is also huge!). I will be his caregiver on Mon.-Tues, his best friend Dave Audia(as many of you know lost his sweet wife a few yrs. ago to cancer)will do Wed and/or Thurs, and my mom will do weekends. This allows my mom to still work some(which is good financially and mentally)and I can go to a Wed.-Sat. work schedule. This has truly been a blessing in itself that we are still able to work and help with his care!

During this period he is considered an isolation patient. Although he will be going back and forth to Northside Hospital each day, he must wear a mask, we have to sanitize everything, watch what he eats, and cannot be left alone etc. all to prevent infection. The most critical period is days 1-12 after the transplant itself. We got a little bit of unexpected news yesterday that threw us all for a loop. We have always been told by his oncologist that his stage of cancer was caught very early(through a routine blood test for his diabetes). Although we knew that multiple myeloma is an extremely aggressive type of cancer, we were always under the impression that his was merely spotted on one arm bone and not in his bone marrow. We were informed that is not the case. It was in 100% of his bone marrow and is now down to 40% after the preliminary chemo. drugs(one of which did not work). I don't think it dampered my dad's spirits too much. I think we were all hoping that he would go through this and never have to worry about it again-optimistic I know! Now he has a 50% chance that he could have to undergo a second transplant in the future.

The doctor of course reminded us that a positive attitude makes all the difference in the world with any cancer and to stay optimistic that he will respond well to the first transplant and not have to do a second. So, I ask that you pray specifically for that-for dad to remain positive in beating this and that he will be in a full remission following the first transplant. I cannot say thank you enough to everyone for the thoughts and prayers so far...please keep them coming! I try to look at this time as positively as I can...at least I get to spend quality time each week with him!
Love you all~HUGS~Shannon

Love Is...

I decided to write today on my definition of love. I assure you, I have definately learned a thing or two on what it truly means to love someone. I think when you have loved, are in love, or are looking forward to love, your definition might be a little different at each time. I know that having loved and lost through a divorce, has made me realize the ways I fell short on truly loving my partner. Then there was the anticipation of falling in love again, and all the things I would do differently. And now, learning how to love someone all over again...

A good friend of mine made me really contemplate how I view unconditional love. When you really love someone, there really is no rhyme or reason. It isn't in the things you have in common, the way they make you feel, or the positive traits they posess. All of those things would be conditional. So really, it is an unexplainable reason that we fall in love-we just do!

As I see it, when you love someone you do things you would not normally do, you listen and encourage even if you don't understand or agree, and you apologize sometimes when you don't feel like it's your fault! Maybe we need to all remind ourselves of I Cor. 13:3-5: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. It is not rude, self-seeking, or easily angered, and keeps no record of wrong doing."

Cancer Stinks!!!

I have officially decided that everyone, at some point in their life is going to be affected by cancer. Many of you know that my dad is right in the middle of grueling chemo. treatments and about to begin stem cell therapy. He has multiple myeloma(aka-bone marrow cancer). As much as we are very positive in a full recovery, it is a hard process to watch your dad go through. I can honestly say if I could go through it for him, I would! Special thanks to my friend Lisa for introducing my dad to hers. It's always good to talk to someone who has had to go through the same thing, and come out on the other side with flying colors! Their conversation has made a huge difference in his positive mental attitude!

I knew my boyfriend John was truly a gift from God, when on our first date he revealed to me that his father had gone through a similar cancer process. Unfortunately his father passed away a few years ago, but he knew exactly all the emotions that come with hearing a family member has cancer. He has been a huge support and encouragement! Since then, we have learned of yet another family member to be faced with this diagnosis. And about that time, he asked me in the most humble way if I really wanted to spend my life with someone who might not live any longer than his father or grandfather(both in early sixties). I could not believe his question! I quickly responded that we better get started on the next twenty years! I don't think anyone would change who they fall in love with, if it were for one day or a lifetime! God is good...sometimes He blesses us with what we need...sometimes it's with what we want...and if you're lucky, you get both!

Just Say "No"...Again!

Well, once again I have done the yo-yo dieting of losing those last 10 lbs. only to gain it back again! So today I begin my recommitment of working out and eating right. If I was only someone who could develop a love for exercise, it would be great! I will say I enjoy the finished product: tight toned muscles, less of my "J-Lo" booty, more energy throughout the day, sleeping better at night, and feeling good in my bikini. You would think those are reasons enough to motivate me, but no...

So, with the probablity of having to get into a wedding dress in the near future, I must begin a new plan of action! Why can't I just be wealthy with personal chefs and trainers to kick my butt into shape? Instead, I will continue to squeeze in my 45 min. a day workouts, eat my birdfood, and tell myself that all those girls on the cover of Cosmo are airbrushed! They are right?