Ok, so last week I had one of those "I wish I had hadn't gone there" moments! You know the kind where if you had just left it alone and let it go, you would have been fine? Oh but no! Curiosity killed the cat, and my nosey self just had to look...(I know get on with it Shannon!)
So, last week I had the pleasure of finding out that my ex-husband was featured in a magazine with his new wife! What? Why? They are not Atlanta socialites or celebrities. Why would they be in a magazine? So with this mecca-of-information tool we have, called the internet I googled away! And there in all it's pride and glory was not one, small picture and article, but rather the entire wedding portfolio! A little more than I bargained for! I have to admit, he had a beautiful wedding and new bride, but seriously why would I want to see all that! I wish I could be like these Hollywood couples like Valerie Bertanelli, who attend their ex's wedding and say such sweet compliments about it, but unfortunately there's just a little realism missing in that! (of course in her case, she is probably glad someone else will deal with Eddie's drama-lol)
But in my case, I was left with the same feeling the day we signed the papers and the day he told me he was getting remarried. This empty, regretful, guilty, failure feeling! So I did what I do alot more of since my divorce-PRAYED! And then I spoke to my boyfriend about it. And in the sweet, gentle way that John does things, he listened...not ready to get jealous or angry like someone else I have dated in my past, but in the way that someone who loves you and allows you to work through things on your own way...and simply responded by saying it was natural and ok to feel that way! He gave me a hug and it was never mentioned again!
Funny thing is, God does the same thing! He lets me vent and then says, "its ok" as a feeling of peace about my past helps me go on with my present. (Psalm 34:17)He cares even about my broken heart!
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